Sigh of Relief

After coming out to the most important human beings in my life (Mom and Brother), there was a sense of uncertainty as I hoped my future would sort out for the best.  After 1.5 years in Gainesville, I finally know what the feeling of relief is after coming out to one of my three room mates.

Last night I had a nice chat with one of my room mates about Gainesville’s gay club. He visited the UC a few weeks ago with a gay friend of his. When he arrived back to the apartment, he bragged about being the first of all his room mates (including me) to party it up at the UC. Much to his surprise, I corrected him by revealing I have gone (plenty of times) to the UC. After a moment of pause… He gave me a curious look accompanied with a smirk on his face.

I did not bluntly come out to him that night since he was too drunk to understand the gist of my hints. Ambiguity would be the best word to describe the past couple of weeks without knowing if he comprehended the purpose of my confession. Last night, however, without uttering the words “I’m gay” he told me I had nothing to worry about since he respected me regardless. He was sure the same can be said with the other two room mates.

He also apologized in case all of the derogatory terms they have uttered the past 6 months has ever offended me.

As I laid in bed last night, I finally felt the relief associated after coming out. From this day onward I can live openly knowing my network of supporters have grown as I continue living. Further confirming there is still hope for humanity despite the existence of ignorance.

–V.Jay

Operation Orange Revelation: My Mother

Mission: Accomplished…

Besides the short stint of being in a relationship, another significant moment has occurred. It has been seven weeks since I came out to my mother. I still consider her a loving mother and she still calls me her pride and joy. That should sum things up very well.

Love triumphs over anything and I am proud that my fears of my mother disowning me (among other things) did not come true.

I was not expecting her reaction. She had a “so what?” vibe in her stare. She was not comfortable in mentioning my then-boyfriend by name (or even saying the word boyfriend). I later found out a number of people in my mother’s family who are also gay. Its nice to know I am not the only one in the family.

Despite the great reception from my mother and brother. It is not clear how I will go about dealing with my family. My mom has already told me she did not want anyone else in the family to know. I may have to take some pointers from my gay family members on how to approach that.

I’ll tackle that issue when I come across it. I am too excited to still have my family intact.

–V.Jay

[Archives || Operation Orange Revelation: My Brother]

Operation Orange Revelation: My Brother

My brother told me he liked smoking cigarettes. I told him I liked smoking cocks .

Its definitely not the typical coming out story, but from what I know not all coming out scenarios are played out at the same tune. When we were on our way to the mall, I was surprised to see him lighting a cigarette since we both helped my mom quit her addiction years ago. He explained that his habit started a month ago. My first instinct was to be anti-smoking, however that would be hypocritical of me to judge him.

Sure smoking and homosexuality are two different subjects. If I wanted him to have an open mind, then I needed to have my mind open as well. So I used that as ammunition.

“The more that I wait, the more time that I waste…” — Part of lyrics to Madonna’s Jump

I did not come out to him until later on at night since he was jamming to the radio while I was driving to another part of town after spending time at the mall. When silence came in as we were parked outside another outlet mall where we were waiting for his friends to stop by, I seized the moment and simply told him “I’m Gay.” Without any need to complicate things further.

He was shocked and later on told me he was quite surprised. When I asked what that meant he explained that he did not question my sexuality until a few months ago. I was speaking to one of my gay friends, flirting, and he had an impression it was a girl. When I said it was a guy, his internal light bulb turned on.

So overall, I was not an open secret after all. He supports me and we are still brothers. If I have someone to thank, other than God himself, it would have to be his gay manager who opened up his mind. It looks like there is a silver lining since my brother reassured that coming out to my mother won’t be as difficult as I thought.

One down. One to go… And don’t get me started with the roommates.

–V.Jay

P.S. Don’t you like the operation codename I assigned to coming out?!