Second Era of Singledom

To be single again and on the prowl… Rawr! Its nothing like the first time I was single after the first boyfriend. The second era of singledom has been simply more interesting. It has been two weeks and I have met, slept over, partied, and have had more issues with keeping my pants on than I normally had in the past.

Disclaimer: As you read the following, keep in mind that I am very new to relationships and the dating scene. In other words, don’t pull a “Duh, V.Jay!” judgement :).

The breakup and coming out to my brother has been a great shot of motivation to put myself out there, even more than before. I have listed a few platonic ads on Craigslist and I received many replies but it seems only one guy will work out a meeting time and place for us to hangout.

I have prowled around Gay.com a few times too many if you ask me. Its to the point I am complicating the dating scene further with all of these guys to think about. Who should I date? Should we be just friends? What happens if he likes me and I don’t like him? What happens if I end up being the clingy one?… You get the picture.

If there is one thing I have learned in the past two weeks, the most vital at the moment is to know how to date someone with no official terms and staying clear from a relationship until it’s appropriate. With all of the suggestions from my fellow bloggers and my best gal pal, I am able to cool things off and set myself back to reality.

It will be tough having multiple dates within a week’s time since I may be flirting with pseudo polygamy and hurting someones feelings, but for once I want to live a little and commit some tiny mistakes (I will aim to stay away from huge errors).

In the end of the month or summer I may have zero dating partners and no potential guys I may want a relationship with, but I’ll be grateful to have a few more friends in the process.

Here’s to the second era of singledom and a summer of defining moments!

–V.Jay

Hotties in June!

This image should look familiar since this is the inspiration for my new blog banner.

Look at that bulge… Gosh, I am bad.

Check this cutie out. An aspiring USA Olympian as a diver, Thomas (not Tyler) Finchum looks so youthful that I can rock his cradle. He is that young! He is 18 and the fact that my brother is 19, yeah… I feel old. Regardless what his birth certificate says, Mr. Finchum is good looking and I will be cheering him on this summer when the Beijing games are under way.

In other news, its the first day of June. As a self proclaimed June Bug, this is the only month that deserves a welcoming from me.

Its my birth month… Its Gay Pride Month… This month was made for me.

–V.Jay

P.S. 29 days until the big double-two birthday in the last day of June.

[|| img source]
[Rivals High || Finchum: Olympic diving favorite]

Memorial Day 2008

Have a happy holiday! But besides wishing you great food and fun with family and friends, I wanted to thank the servicemen and women especially those sacrificing their freedom to express themselves (as LGBT men and women) to serve this country. Thanks to all!

–V.Jay

[|| img source]

Operation Orange Revelation: My Brother

My brother told me he liked smoking cigarettes. I told him I liked smoking cocks :).

Its definitely not the typical coming out story, but from what I know not all coming out scenarios are played out at the same tune. When we were on our way to the mall, I was surprised to see him lighting a cigarette since we both helped my mom quit her addiction years ago. He explained that his habit started a month ago. My first instinct was to be anti-smoking, however that would be hypocritical of me to judge him.

Sure smoking and homosexuality are two different subjects. If I wanted him to have an open mind, then I needed to have my mind open as well. So I used that as ammunition.

“The more that I wait, the more time that I waste…” — Part of lyrics to Madonna’s Jump

I did not come out to him until later on at night since he was jamming to the radio while I was driving to another part of town after spending time at the mall. When silence came in as we were parked outside another outlet mall where we were waiting for his friends to stop by, I seized the moment and simply told him “I’m Gay.” Without any need to complicate things further.

He was shocked and later on told me he was quite surprised. When I asked what that meant he explained that he did not question my sexuality until a few months ago. I was speaking to one of my gay friends, flirting, and he had an impression it was a girl. When I said it was a guy, his internal light bulb turned on.

So overall, I was not an open secret after all. He supports me and we are still brothers. If I have someone to thank, other than God himself, it would have to be his gay manager who opened up his mind. It looks like there is a silver lining since my brother reassured that coming out to my mother won’t be as difficult as I thought.

One down. One to go… And don’t get me started with the roommates.

–V.Jay

P.S. Don’t you like the operation codename I assigned to coming out?!

Opportunity is ‘Within Reach’

This week my preferred Democrat, Barack Obama, is not the only one crossing a threshold. A series of events which includes my recent breakup and a few encouraging words from my group of close friends have motivated me to move passed the baby steps. Its silly, I have used that excuse for a while and I feel the time is right for something to happen.

If you were not one of the few that received my text message Wednesday night, I intend to come out to my family this weekend.

I have been ready to come out of the closet for a while, however a Plan B is yet to be thought out. I see myself picking up an enormous slack If the worst happens this weekend. So at the very least, my brother should be the one I am honest with this weekend.

It will be the deepest and most emotional confession I will, perhaps ever, tell him.

Ready? I should be… I am spontaneous and the desire of coming out this weekend was brought up very random as well.
Prepared? I will wing it since I think I know who to rely on…
How will it go? I have a feeling that it won’t lead me to be excommunicated. However, I am not sure if it will be smooth from the get-go. Life ain’t smooth PERIOD.

All I know is that an opportunity will arise and whether I am ready or not I am better off taking a chance at it since there won’t be another chance in a few months.

Summer Theme is coming to me again: Those who matter won’t mind!

–V.Jay

Adelante… Time To Keep Moving On

This is the new vindictive Breakup anthem of the moment… Morgan Page’s The Longest Road

Giddy up and gold dust, all the cars turn to rust
You’ve got no means for wanderlust
Pastel trailer park, stars so bright to hide the dark
All is quiet in the yard

If you are so frequently in love
If you prefer it all to me then my love
You go down the longest road to nowhere
You pull it apart and you’re just left there

Giddy up and gold mine, horse dust down time
Its my life, its my time, we’ve been gettin’ nowhere
Gold mine, different place, different time
Hold me down, Hold me down
Hope will be found, Follow me

I feel better now…

–V.Jay

[Lyrics || Morgan Page -- The Longest Road]

My Weaknesses: A Designer and a Singer

Don’t you agree? The first guy is the aspiring Design Star from HGTV’s reality competition that will premiere on June 8th. His name is Mikey Verdugo and he is a police officer from Davie, FL… Yumm. The second hottie is the singer known mostly for his voice in Lupe Fiasco’s “Superstar.” At first I thought it was Coldplay’s lead singer but when I saw the video yesterday and saw Matthew Santos instead, I was far from dissapointed.

–V.Jay

[HGTV || Design Star: Mikey Verdugo's Profile]
[MySpace Music || Matthew Santos Profile]

Gators Beautification

Sure Ms. Duff does not look that stunning without makeup but when she is wearing the Florida Orange and Gator Blue… It will do wonders for her! And it will work for you too.

–V.Jay

How Did It Begin?

Now that you know the short relationship ended. There is still a question left unanswered… How did it begin? Since many of you know how unnecessarily detailed I can get I will give you the cliff notes version that will be more suitable to bring the point across.

On Sunday April 6th, I met him through a Gay.com chat room (don’t judge me!). He sent me a private message and we clicked very well that we spent 12 hours chatting about ourselves and even planned the first date for the following day. I was in Orlando visiting my family, but its important to note that he lived in Gainesville. The following day, April 7th, he called me as I drove to Gainesville and talked how excited we were about the date that night.

Our first date was pretty sweet. He made dinner at his place and afterwards we went to a drag show held on the UF campus. I introduced him as my date to all of my friends present and enjoyed the show together. So much so, that we were holding hands and all.

The night concluded at his place, since he wanted me to sleepover and I obliged. In fact, once I came back from my 4-day trip on that Saturday, I slept over for the next few nights as well. Bliss was great and the moments shared were joyous. However it would not last.

On the first sleepover after he started working I noticed a change in attitude. Understandably tired, I decided to just let it slide but it seems I was to upset about the change to let it stay bottled up. Apparently, I aggravated him so much with my “bitchiness” that we had a conversation about love and infatuation… Yes, I let the L-word slip twice within the first week of our romance.

In short, it was a heart to heart conversation that left me crying by the end of the night when he brutally called me naive and inexperienced with relationships and I should not worry about the status of the relationship from that point on.

So days of worrying continued, despite the conversation, until my best friend advised I had nothing to worry about. That it was all part of the ups and downs of a relationship. I continued on, with my heart protected and closed off until he was ready to open up slowly.

Now I know that never was going to happen since through his actions and body language did all of the convincing that the relationship was at a stand-still. It took me a month before I decided it was enough but it was better now than never.

I dont regret what I have done and making the relationship official since I believe the most lessons you learn early on, the better my chances will be at a future relationship. One, two, or three guys down the line.

It was memorable while it lasted. Now my second shot at enjoying single life will not be taken for granted since I don’t have to worry about a shattered heart that much…

So there you have it, kids… The backstory that led to the end of a relationship.

–V.Jay

No Need to Apologize

It lasted one month and twelve days and you may be as confused as I am, but I promise a full account of my short relationship with my newly labeled second ex boyfriend…

I learned a lesson or two and I enjoyed the first eleven days of the the relationship when it was all biss. However, I closed my heart off when it was apparent he wanted to take things slowly. My “slow” meant progress, while his meant a complete and abrupt stop.

I just feel used and victimized from a future that, as of now, will never be shared with him. I am thankful that we ended it in good terms and will hang out with him as a friend at the very least.

Only time will prove my resistance against a broken heart.

–V.Jay

[|| img source]